why technology sucks

weyhhhh sebulan aku tak blog. whatdadilly.

busy busy busy, malas malas malas. i think i made the reason clear.

so how are u peopleeee? i feel so takde life sejak kerja ni. but thanks to 2 old ppl, tasha and amira suraya for asking me to get off my ass and blog already.

neways, let me share with u something thats suppose to be really cool, but just ended up being menyedihkan and creepy.

jap, backtrack for a while, ive been working out like a madman lately. sejak si jacob dlm twilight tu tiba2 nak tough semacam, aku tergugat. tegugat beb. so kena la try jadi dia kan.



see, i am on the way. obviously that is someone else's finger. both my manly arms are by my side

agak takde kaitan la sebenarnya with my post. sebab i nak tell u bout how technology sucks.

anyways, i have this webcam thingy for my xbox. it lets u take pics of urself and puts u in the game. concept ultra coolies (nerd sial bunyi)

oh, i talked bout jacob sbb i thought i was attractive la jugak kan. as in presentable la. so i thought, oh well, my game version shouldnt be that bad.

so i tried it out



so far so good

5 minutes later i generated my face.



what the frickkkkkkkk.

people, meet my alter ego. who knew the digital version of me would be miguel allehandro yariba yariba ching, a filipino/vietnamese construction worker.

teheeeee.

because i have to, my rockworthy legion of fans

how dare i not blog for 2 weeks.

this blog pun sbb terpaksa sebenarnya, sbb again, kesian the 2 and a half ppl that actually read my blog. ceh bajet pulaks. 2 and a half ppl ye, not 2 and a half men.

*drom drom drommm*

that was drum sounds bila org buat lawak tu. yes, we're not off to a good start.

sooooooo, do you really want to know what ive been up 2? of coz not. but i'll just tell u sbb, duh, its my blog.

3 weeks of intern so far, and the thought that keeps coming to my head is..

"holy crap, im going 2 have to do this for years nanti"

i cant imagine everyday waking up at 7, everyday keeping awake in a shit cold office.

and imagine the hair loss i'll go through coz of all the stress. im pretty sure my hair has thinned 1/125 of an inch since i started. so by the time i'll pencen, i would have lost 4 times my current amount of hair. botak itu sexy?

(i did not actually calculate that. 4 just sounded cool)

so i wanna run away. i dont want to work. so ive decided that where im going with my future.

I WILL BE THE FIRST MALE HOST OF 3R!

i mean, dah kata releks, respon and resomething. releks part tu dah nice. and i still remember how those episodes about how to be a better woman use to give me tiny disturbing giggles.

mak oii tak masuk akal post aku ni.

so jom usha transformers! and jom twitter sbb kat office cuak nak bukak facebook.

oh and im still looking 4 ppl 2 teman me usha hannah montana the movie. the finger will be given to ppl who ask me if im serious.

booyah.

he is beautiful

as i was tweeting yesterday bout my 1st day of internship.

nak ckp how ironic my job is selling something that sounds like a sex toy (lubricants. geddit?)

anywho, the original plan was 2 tulis this.

"kerja aku jual lubricant. insert sex joke here"

tetapi, noooo. i changed it 2 english seratus peratus.

"my internship is centered around selling lubricants. pls insert your sex jokes here"

adakah sbb saya berkerja satu hari sudah mat salleh?

oh no.

real reason was.

i was worried john mayer was gonna read my post and not understand it.

oh wahi wahi. baby steps pls.

p/s: boo korang semua sbb konon busy intern, tak baca blog orang

coolies

i had one of the most fascinating/horrifying/menarik-est dreams tadi.

actually it was 2 dreams in like 3 hours. i'll tell u the 1st part first.

i was at a traffic light, waiting 2 cross the road. oh bless me for being so skema and berhemah.

neways, while waiting, ade this really comel/pretty lady with her friends.

so i went up and talked 2 her.

(u know its a dream cause i actually had the balls 2 talk 2 a girl i dont know)

so i asked her where she was going. anddddd to act really suave (ive been watching waaaaaaayyy too many Keys To The VIP) i stuck my ear right against her mouth.

smooth.

suddenly, being the dreamy man-stud i can only dream of being (geddit?) i hugged her from behind and asked her whats up n all.

do note that this is at a freaking public traffic light. slow down tiger.

but waitttttt. here comes the best part.

she whispers to me..

I HAVE HIV.

warta.

and the coolest part of the whole thing was i actually persuaded her that everything would be ok sbb u cant transmit HIV through touch.

like i was actually pleading with her to stick with me.

bukan nak pandang rendah to ppl with the disease, tp sedih skit atas kelebih despo-an diri sendiri. i mean, skit skit sudeh.

so my brilliant idea to 'cleanse' myself from what i did was to go back and shower. so gagah i know.

ahhhhh, then it goes to the 2nd part of my dream.

nak balik je, i find out my house is now a freaking military base. to be exact a military obstacle course.

so to take a shower, i had 2 like go through a freaking military obstacle course.

thats 2 freakings man.

lepas mengharungi that, biasa la, i would be pissed la kan. nak shower bukan kemain lagi menyusahkan.

kebetulan ade office dia kat atas. so i go there. just as im about to leave, i hear a familiar voice.

guess who it is.

no, not liyana jasmay, but thanks. hey hey hey hey.

it was...

AWAL ASHAARI.

of all the ppl.



yes i know the picture oozes sex appeal. who could resist?

but omfg AWAL ASHAARI MAN!

which begs the question.

why?

so i think this dream is trying to tell me something. i kan suka skit think that my dreams are like a petanda.

I SHOULD BE WITH DIANA DANIELLE.

weyh, aku tau kau buat muka pelik di situ, tp hear me out.

military - dia kan kat NS

awal ashaari - co-star dalam pelbagai drama melayu bermutu tinggi.

HIV - itu tak penting, so kita abaikan.

so thank u God, i will follow the advice. anyone know directions to her camp?

oh wait, perhaps the HIV thingy is trying 2 tell me 2 be less desperate.

naaaaah, not important =P

my lover, my sexy boytoy

i am kris allen's secret lover.

thats right.

even though he might be married, he's secretly not satisfied.

she doesnt satisfy him sexually. and emotionally. kan dia nyanyi lagu heartless? thats for his wife. but hush hush, suppose 2 keep it down low yow.

pastu dia asyik nyanyi lagu falling slowly sbb dia nak secretly give hints bout our lusty love affair, but korang la slow skit.

"take this sinking boat and point it home"

his talking bout his dingaling to my vejayjay ppl.

gross but true.

i'll always be ur melody.

love u kris bushuk <3

facts of life

guys rule.

chicks suckkkkkk

correction: guys who watch antm and merah puteh, all the while satu hapak tak study lagi, paling rule-est

correction number 2: since takde org bagi number insan2 yg diminta in the last post, u all suckkkkk

good day =)

hey hey hey hey
c-i-n-t-a

brilliant idea #24

sitting at home, alone, staring at the tv, drinking yet another protein shake.

it hit me!

anyone with the phone numbers of liyana jasmay, yuna or agnes monica.

contact me at 012-3390644 or orlando_bloom810@hotmail.com

a reward ranging from belanja makan to stocks of porn will be given 2 those sungguh baik hati enough.

and keep in mind i hate it when ppl dont respond 2 my posts. attention seeker i know. tapi come on ppl, penting ni

p/s: indeed, my email is orlando bloom. laugh it up suckers